Who is YOUR next Two Scoops?

In typical Cheers Heavy fashion, Matt has decided to give himself another nickname.

He used to sign his e-mails to me "Guycrest...out." You can easily see how worthy of insult that is.

Then, he made up the nickname "Goose" and acted like that was normal.

Now, he wishes to be called "Hew." As in the second syllable of his name, Matthew. As in Topher (Christopher) Grace. As in dipshit.

I tried to wake him up last Saturday morning to take me to the airport. I nudged him and poked him and prodded him. He wouldn't wake up.

I said, "Matt."

Nothing.

"Matty."

Nothing.

"Matthew."

Nothing.

"Matteo."

Nothing.

"HEW!!!"

He rolled over and asked, "What time are we leaving?"