This is the best night of my life!

While we are watching Pee Wee's Playhouse on Adult Swim, I am dictating Jables' funniest high school memory.

Me: Ok, go. I'm gonna write this word for word.

Jables: What? Word for word? I can't even talk right now (he has Crest Whitestrips on his teeth). It was me, Trevor, and Scotty. We were...well, it was when Christopher played Carlyle. We were freshmen, it was a Friday night. We were going to go soap and do other things to Nathan Handlin's house...and you're writing it word for word! We hated him because of the girlfriend he had and because he was a giant douchebag. I'm not talking anymore. I want you to interpret this story. I'm going to bed. I want you to interpret it.

Ok, fine I'll interpret it.

So, the three boys started walking from the high school to Trevor's house to get the supplies to soap Nathan's house. None of them were old enough to drive. Not even a quarter of the way there, Josh got the feeling that he was going to need to use the bathroom. He started walking back toward the high school, thinking that he'd use the basketball locker room while the football game was still going on. He almost got to campus, but close to the nearby laundromat his stomach told him he wasn't going to make it. He started at a full sprint, but he was undoing his pants as he ran. He ended up having to pop a squat right then and there and use grass for toilet paper. Meanwhile, it was halftime at the football game and people were smoking cigs so close that Josh could hear their conversations. He, a little messy, left the scene of the crime and started back on the path to Trevor's.

On his way there - how ironic - the very girl that these three boys had crushes on drove by Josh during his ultimate walk of shame and offered him a ride. He politely declined by saying "I think I'm just gonna walk it." When he got to Trevor's, he knocked on the window. Scotty and Trevor looked at him through the glass like he was insane and told him to come on in. Josh replied, "I can't." They asked, "What, did you crap your pants or something?" Josh said, "Kind of."

So, they came out and laughed their asses off for about five minutes. Then Trevor got out the hose to spray a very naked Josh down. BJ Prather, Trevor's neighbor and the town's answer to questionable morals, walked by at the time. She also laughed her ass off.

After all was said and done, and Josh was poo-free, those rascals went and soap Nathan's house. Trevor ended up telling this guy Shaun about Josh's mishap, and Shaun then told Michele, the object of those three boys' collective affection.

Over a year later, Josh dated Michele for about two months. She confessed that she's known for quite awhile about the night he pooped his pants.

I hope I did the story justice.