Sleepless in St. Louis...
Last night, a raging storm swept through the St. Louis metro area, damaging homes, triggering severe auto accidents, delaying the Cards game (and causing ruin to signage in the stadium, along with injuring approximately 50 fans), and in general, wreaking havoc on area businesses, old people, and anyone who prefers to have the A/C on during 100 degree plus weather.
Our food is rotting. Jables went to three Schnucks, two Shop 'N Saves, and three or so gas stations before he found a little Hucks that actually still had bags of ice. He snagged six of the last eight.
Ameren, the electric company, said in a news conference this morning that it will probably be 3-5 days before all customers have their power restored. As of 6 AM today, over 450,000 customers were still without. Supposedly, the governor of Missouri is trying to persuade George W. to deem the St. Louis area in a state of national emergency, so National Guard officers and the like can come to our fair city and rescue us.
I would just go to C-town this weekend, but instead Cheers Heavy is in a wedding. Three groomsmen, including the father of the groom, can't get their tuxes because the mall is without power and not open for business. Word is still out on whether or not the rehearsal dinner restaurant, along with the church and the reception venue, have power.
I am looking forward to a weekend full of sweating. Here's to my nine hour shift at the shoe slangin' store today, with A/C so cold I need to wear a sweatshirt.
Despite the intense heat and intimidating forecast of powerlessness for the next few days, I am able to see the humor in last night's events. I was at a meeting for the website that finished around 7 PM, right when the storm hit. We were on the 21st floor of the University Club Tower, right in the heart of Brentwood/Clayton. It was amazing to check out the sky from that height; it looked like it was going to open up and eat us. Because the building employees recommending us not getting in our cars, we ran across the street to PF Chang's for dinner and drinks.
Meanwhile, Jables decided there was nothing to do but sit on the front porch in the darkness and drink Jack Daniels alone. When I got home, he shined a flashlight directly in my eyes and asked what we should do. We simultaneously conducted phone calls on our cell phones after a quick visit with our very entertaining neighbor, Wild Bill. We decided to camp out in the living room and try to go to sleep. He was on the couch in the sunroom, and I was on the leather couch in the connecting room. Everytime I moved, I ripped off about five layers of skin that were previously stuck to the couch. I decided to try my stifling room.
Just when I drifted off to sleep, my brother called at 1:00 AM and said that he and his friends were coming over to spend the night after getting drunk at the Cardinal game. I opened the front door for them, and I decided to sit outside on the front porch with everyone. Josh started drinking again. I listened to John and his friend (the infamous Levi Dawson) drunkenly ramble about anything and everything. Finally, I decided it was time to try and sleep again.
I was definitely dreaming a little bit when I received a drunk dial from two fellow shoe slangers around 2:30 AM. They let me know that it was so cold in their apartment with the A/C blasting that their "nips were hard."
After finally falling back asleep, I awoke around 3:30 AM to Levi Dawson puking up his guts in the nearby bathroom. It's amazing how loud vomit sounds splashing into the toilet bowl with no buzzing appliances to deafen the disgusting noise. Josh yelled from the sunroom, "Who invited Ralph?"
Around 4:30 AM, I received yet another drunk dial from the same shoe slangers informing me that their nips were, in fact, still cold.
I woke up around 9:00 and tried to keep sleeping, but the Dead Sea was pooling in all concave surface areas of my body. So salty, you just float.
Wish us luck here in the STL.
Our food is rotting. Jables went to three Schnucks, two Shop 'N Saves, and three or so gas stations before he found a little Hucks that actually still had bags of ice. He snagged six of the last eight.
Ameren, the electric company, said in a news conference this morning that it will probably be 3-5 days before all customers have their power restored. As of 6 AM today, over 450,000 customers were still without. Supposedly, the governor of Missouri is trying to persuade George W. to deem the St. Louis area in a state of national emergency, so National Guard officers and the like can come to our fair city and rescue us.
I would just go to C-town this weekend, but instead Cheers Heavy is in a wedding. Three groomsmen, including the father of the groom, can't get their tuxes because the mall is without power and not open for business. Word is still out on whether or not the rehearsal dinner restaurant, along with the church and the reception venue, have power.
I am looking forward to a weekend full of sweating. Here's to my nine hour shift at the shoe slangin' store today, with A/C so cold I need to wear a sweatshirt.
Despite the intense heat and intimidating forecast of powerlessness for the next few days, I am able to see the humor in last night's events. I was at a meeting for the website that finished around 7 PM, right when the storm hit. We were on the 21st floor of the University Club Tower, right in the heart of Brentwood/Clayton. It was amazing to check out the sky from that height; it looked like it was going to open up and eat us. Because the building employees recommending us not getting in our cars, we ran across the street to PF Chang's for dinner and drinks.
Meanwhile, Jables decided there was nothing to do but sit on the front porch in the darkness and drink Jack Daniels alone. When I got home, he shined a flashlight directly in my eyes and asked what we should do. We simultaneously conducted phone calls on our cell phones after a quick visit with our very entertaining neighbor, Wild Bill. We decided to camp out in the living room and try to go to sleep. He was on the couch in the sunroom, and I was on the leather couch in the connecting room. Everytime I moved, I ripped off about five layers of skin that were previously stuck to the couch. I decided to try my stifling room.
Just when I drifted off to sleep, my brother called at 1:00 AM and said that he and his friends were coming over to spend the night after getting drunk at the Cardinal game. I opened the front door for them, and I decided to sit outside on the front porch with everyone. Josh started drinking again. I listened to John and his friend (the infamous Levi Dawson) drunkenly ramble about anything and everything. Finally, I decided it was time to try and sleep again.
I was definitely dreaming a little bit when I received a drunk dial from two fellow shoe slangers around 2:30 AM. They let me know that it was so cold in their apartment with the A/C blasting that their "nips were hard."
After finally falling back asleep, I awoke around 3:30 AM to Levi Dawson puking up his guts in the nearby bathroom. It's amazing how loud vomit sounds splashing into the toilet bowl with no buzzing appliances to deafen the disgusting noise. Josh yelled from the sunroom, "Who invited Ralph?"
Around 4:30 AM, I received yet another drunk dial from the same shoe slangers informing me that their nips were, in fact, still cold.
I woke up around 9:00 and tried to keep sleeping, but the Dead Sea was pooling in all concave surface areas of my body. So salty, you just float.
Wish us luck here in the STL.
posted by quank at 4:59 PM
2 Comments:
Who invited Ralph?..
Classic JB.
I hope to puke in that toilet in exactly 1 week and 6 hours.
too bad you can't run the stereo...crank out some neighborhood #3 (power out) by arcade fire! stay cool.....
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