A side of frog legs with a nice Chianti...

Jables is single-handedly attempting to reverse all the painstaking work my main man Noah put into that Ark thousands and thousands of years ago. With one evil eye on the robin red-breast who recently built a second nest on his front porch (after the first nest was purposely removed), Jables has now turned his other evil eye to the frogs who live in his otherwise uninhabited koi pond. He now looks rather like Colin Hay in Men At Work's "Who Can It Be Now?" video. Animal-hating eyes in every direction.

A few days ago, Jables called to tell me that he was kept up all night because of the croaking of the frogs (the seeming antithesis of the silence of the lambs). He proudly told me that he was going to remove them from the premises, and he hoped I would back him on his effort. Mainly, he thought that I would approve since "frogs aren't even cute." But, I like the ribbit of frogs deep into the night. They remind me of home. They don't keep me awake; they help me sleep. Their noise is like one of those relaxation CDs your masseuse plays while tediously working the knots out of your shoulder blades.

Jables was exasperated with me.

Later that night, Cheers Heavy, Jables, and I convened at my apartment so that we could move my fish tank to the new house. Once the move was complete, I hurriedly worked to set up the aquarium so that my fish wouldn't go into a state of shock. Meanwhile, Cheers Heavy watched Jables take four frogs out of the koi pond and put them in a dumpster in the back alley. I'm sure Cheers Heavy simply giggled the entire time.

The next morning, I received an e-mail from Jables. He told me that he removed 11 more frogs from the koi pond, and there are still more left.

Can you imagine these 15 frogs sitting at the bottom of a dumpster, croaking and ribbiting and doing their frog thing, while trash and cardboard and old mattresses gradually pile up and suffocate them? My heart goes out to them. I fear for the life of my fish.