You're a good man, Matt Guymon

As you can see, Matty is sad because he's spending his birthday locked in a hotel room in Chicago to study for the Illinois Bar Exam. That test is tomorrow. What a way to spend a birthday!

This is my little birthday tribute to Mr. Guymon.

Age: 26

Profession: Attorney

Ideal Profession: Rock star

Girls Who Rotate In and Out of His Top Five: Evangeline Lilly, Sienna Miller, Naomi Watts, Rachel McAdams, and Heidi Klum

Heterosexual Crush: Jude Law

Fashion Trend I Won't Let Him Try: V-neck t-shirts under blazers

Favorite Alcoholic Beverages: Guinness, Red Wine, Bushmills

Allergies: Well liquor

People vs. Dogs: Dogs, everytime...preferably yellow labs

Guymon Oddities: He is spastic and hyper when hungover, he owns 75,407,159,301 pairs of tennis shoes, and he makes up his own nicknames, like "Goose"

Interesting Facial Features: Extremely pasty skin and a huge scar over his eyebrow

Best Thing About Him: His infectious giggle...it's quite like a 5-year old girl's laugh

What Makes Him Cry: Sick or injured doggies and the Cards losing in the playoffs

Places He'd Like to Live: London, NYC, San Fran, Seattle, Chicago, and Nantucket

Favorite Quote: "I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life." (Thoreau)