Things that make you go hmmm...
It's important to be aware of the randomness and ridiculousness of our daily lives. We have to laugh at something. For me, that usually happens when I reach the edge of total stress, and I spiral into delirium. I'm giddy right now thinking about some of the funny things that have happened in the past 24 hours.
1. I ordered a Papa John's pizza, and I asked for extra peppers on the side. The lady asked me how many I wanted. Usually, they just give me about ten and call it a day. But I could tell this time was a little different; the lady was going to play hardball. I asked the her if there was a newly established charge per pepper or something. She said, "Yes, ma'am." Like perhaps I was an idiot. I asked what the price per pepper was. She told me they were fifty cents a piece. Fifty cents for a pepper?! One little shriveled pepper? I just started dying laughing and told her to forget it.
2. An elderly customer at the shoe slangin' store, all excited about a new Super Wally World that just opened near his home, randomly asked me what I pay per pound for meat when I go to the grocery store. This is while I'm putting his stinking foot inside a shoe. That question simply struck me as hilarious, and I snorted in his face. I told him I wasn't sure...but I should have countered with Papa John's charge per pepper. Fifty cents, sir.
3. I was at a red light, and I thought maybe...perhaps...I had a new zit on my forehead. Now, I am definitely one of those shy people who stops singing as soon as I have to brake at traffic lights, during rush hour, etc. I definitely don't want other people to see me sing or checking myself out in the mirror. So, it was a big step for me to actually do this with other cars surrounding me. In the middle of the process, I hear a honk. I look out my driver's side window, and the guy next to me is giving me a huge smile and a thumbs up. Who does that? Please tell me what person would intentionally embarrass another human because she's popping a zit in her rearview mirror. I will probably never do anything but stare straight ahead at any future red light, gripping the wheel until my knuckles turn white.
1. I ordered a Papa John's pizza, and I asked for extra peppers on the side. The lady asked me how many I wanted. Usually, they just give me about ten and call it a day. But I could tell this time was a little different; the lady was going to play hardball. I asked the her if there was a newly established charge per pepper or something. She said, "Yes, ma'am." Like perhaps I was an idiot. I asked what the price per pepper was. She told me they were fifty cents a piece. Fifty cents for a pepper?! One little shriveled pepper? I just started dying laughing and told her to forget it.
2. An elderly customer at the shoe slangin' store, all excited about a new Super Wally World that just opened near his home, randomly asked me what I pay per pound for meat when I go to the grocery store. This is while I'm putting his stinking foot inside a shoe. That question simply struck me as hilarious, and I snorted in his face. I told him I wasn't sure...but I should have countered with Papa John's charge per pepper. Fifty cents, sir.
3. I was at a red light, and I thought maybe...perhaps...I had a new zit on my forehead. Now, I am definitely one of those shy people who stops singing as soon as I have to brake at traffic lights, during rush hour, etc. I definitely don't want other people to see me sing or checking myself out in the mirror. So, it was a big step for me to actually do this with other cars surrounding me. In the middle of the process, I hear a honk. I look out my driver's side window, and the guy next to me is giving me a huge smile and a thumbs up. Who does that? Please tell me what person would intentionally embarrass another human because she's popping a zit in her rearview mirror. I will probably never do anything but stare straight ahead at any future red light, gripping the wheel until my knuckles turn white.
posted by quank at 12:55 AM
3 Comments:
Sounds like some car flirtation to me...the guy just wanted a piece, that's all.
Best way to pop a zit on your back ... the eraser end of 2 pencils, although I don't recommend doing it in the car.
What is it about popping zits that is so fun?...
Right up there with cleaning my ears with a Q-tip, in my book. There is something gratifying about getting some good yellow out of the ear canal. And I know the box says, do not stick in ear canal, but who DOESN'T stick q-tips in the ear canal. That's were all the golden treasure is.
mjs remind me never to borrow a pencil from you ever again...
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